This has been a challenging month for me. I am not one to believe much in the post holiday blues, but I have definitely been in a funk. My mind has not been in a consistently good place. Banny's passing and my Grandma's second trip to the hospital in three weeks has not helped either.
I have been trying to get my mind right with prayer, activity, busying myself, running, and nothing has been the magic combination....yet! As always...at least in my life these days....I get the most clarity when I am running or preparing to run. Thank goodness for something.
Today as I left to run, it was raining. I don't like rain so I headed back inside. Instead of going back to bed (which is really what I wanted to do) I decided to catch up on some blog reading. I read the "Run Like a Mother" series on the Olympic Marathon Trial runners. It was so very inspirational. Most of the women profiled are not professional runners. They are mothers, grandmothers (yes!), professionals, wives, and YES very fast runners. They train hard and at crazy times of the day. It was so very inspiring to read as I sat not wanting to run in the rain, which was really a heavy drizzle (read "wimpy").
One mother runner said something that really stuck with me. Instead of "wishing" she focuses on "getting." She stays positive by thinking "I get to....". I LOVE IT and I NEEDED TO READ THAT!
I have spent most of the month wishing away things. I wish I did not have to make dinner, make lunches, do the laundry, change the sheets again, run at 5am, go grocery shopping, go to the gym again, pack for a trip to PA, and the list goes on. It is pathetic really....just really pathetic!
Today, I re-realized that I get to do all those things because I am a mom to four awesome children and have a great husband. I do love taking care of them and helping to make them happy. I get to run because my husband supports me. I get to go to a funeral because I am part of an amazing family and am blessed to have loved such a person as Banny. I love being a mom, a wife, part of a great family, and a runner. I do love these things and I would not change my life, my roles, my responsibilities, my running for anything. I just needed this smack in the face that I GET TO DO these things!
I guess the rainy morning was nourishing for my soul. Oh, and I finally left in the rain to run my 12 miles! The joy of the things I GET TO DO!