I have hated and I mean hated every run since I have been home. I have run 4 times and every run has been totally crappy. The joy of running has been sucked out of me and I would like it back!
Running is really a life line for me. Running usually fills me up in so many ways...spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I usually feel like my day is going to be better because I ran. This is not true at the moment. I am spending so much mental energy to survive every run I feel overly drained when I get home.
I am hoping it has something to do with the weather. Houston weather is very unkind to runners and all athletes in general for most months of the year. The humidity and early morning temperatures have been just gross! By gross I mean at least 80 degrees at 6-6:30am and 70% humidity or more. These are horrible running conditions in my opinion. So for my out of running shape self, it makes running just that much more crappy.
|Yeah, I smiled for the camera. But, look at how sweaty gross I look after just 7 miles. Ridiculous!!|
For the past four days, I have doubted this is the right path for me. Am I supposed to run another marathon? Am I supposed to run two more marathons? Should I be running any races this fall or will it just be a waste of money? Obviously my mental game is way off! Sadly, I am not sure how to get it back.
I need a good run. A confidence boosting run. A run that feels easy. Legs ready to run in the morning. A mind ready to battle during the tough moments. Where has it all gone? Why do I feel so weak?
So many questions and doubts and just no answers.
I keep thinking that the next run will be better and I suppose at some point it will. Since I do live in Houston I am thinking maybe October....not good!