To be the best Wife, Mom, Daughter, Sister, Friend, and Runner I can be...God willing!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

There is no joy in running the moment!

I have hated and I mean hated every run since I have been home.  I have run 4 times and every run has been totally crappy.  The joy of running has been sucked out of me and I would like it back!

Running is really a life line for me.  Running usually fills me up in so many ways...spiritually, physically, and emotionally.  I usually feel like my day is going to be better because I ran.  This is not true at the moment.  I am spending so much mental energy to survive every run I feel overly drained when I get home. 

I am hoping it has something to do with the weather.  Houston weather is very unkind to runners and all athletes in general for most months of the year.  The humidity and early morning temperatures have been just gross!  By gross I mean at least 80 degrees at 6-6:30am and 70% humidity or more.  These are horrible running conditions in my opinion.  So for my out of running shape self, it makes running just that much more crappy.
Yeah, I smiled for the camera.  But, look at how sweaty gross I look after just 7 miles.  Ridiculous!!
I started marathon training on Tuesday.  Last year I had a great base.  Beginning a challenging, never been done before task was not very hard.  This time around is totally different.  I am so out of running shape.  Running is hard at the moment...even the easy runs. I have NO running base AT ALL!  NONE!  And, that makes it all the worse.   It is summer and not fall.  I am totally out of my running rhythm. 

For the past four days, I have doubted this is the right path for me.  Am I supposed to run another marathon?  Am I supposed to run two more marathons?  Should I be running any races this fall or will it just be a waste of money?  Obviously my mental game is way off!  Sadly, I am not sure how to get it back. 

I need a good run.  A confidence boosting run.  A run that feels easy.  Legs ready to run in the morning.  A mind ready to battle during the tough moments.  Where has it all gone?  Why do I feel so weak?

So many questions and doubts and just no answers. 

I keep thinking that the next run will be better and I suppose at some point it will.  Since I do live in Houston I am thinking maybe October....not good!


  1. I'm feeling the EXACT same way. So discouraged that my body isn't doing what I know it can do. Don't get down on yourself, it's not you. Your body is working hard just to combat the heat. You'll be back to your old self in no time. Don't doubt your abilities. I DON'T DOUBT YOU AT ALL!!! I know you got this!

  2. I think the harsh Summer sucks it out of all of us. Im an in somewhat of a rut myself. I keep telling myself to just suck it up and train through it and I will emerge stronger, and while I know this is true, I am having a hard time following through with training. Ive missed so many running days that Im losing fitness and my easy runs have also become hard. My normal "short" runs have now become my "long" runs. Its crazy! But just hang in there, and Im sure both of us will get back on track.

  3. Hang in there - you will get through this. Just as sometimes in faith and prayer life, we go through a desert only to come out stronger on the other side... this too will make you stronger (in one way or another)!!