I am a planner. I take lots of things into consideration before making a plan. Will it work for my family? Will it work for the weather? What is the cost? What is the time commitment? You get the idea. Once I have a plan, I really want it to work. I can be very easily annoyed if things don't go as scheduled. I am working on this (one of many growth areas for me!).
So, when I made my decision to attempt a 1:45 half I put some serious thought into it. I really feel like I am capable of that time. I made a plan to help me achieve that goal. I registered for a tune-up race to see if my training was on track.
Then I ran that race and the weather was crappy. It was crazy hot. I have heard so many comments and read so many posts about the weather on Saturday. I know it was not just me affected by the temperatures, but it is still messing with my head. Why did I not hold my pace for the last 2.2 miles? Why could I not breathe? Why did I have to walk? Why can't I just be happy with a 50:xx Why, why, why?
And that sentence right there is where the learning and growing begins. The whys in life can suck the life right out of you if you give them too much priority! There is no point in dwelling on the ifs because reality is not the ifs. Reality is what is true and that is where I need to make my peace. God had a plan for me in this 10K. I may not like His plan. It was certainly not my plan, but I can and will learn from the experience.
I can't control the weather. I can only control me and I have to accept that I made the best decision to walk. I gave my best effort. I have to move on and press on toward my goal. This was a step in the process not the mountaintop.
Knowing how poorly I responded to the heat, I now question if I can run a 1:45 on June 2. Can I? And there it is again...an if! If I can....
What I can do and must do from here forward is think the ifs in a positive light. Negative thoughts won't get me a 1:45. If I work my plan, if I hit my paces, if my body is healthy, if I prepare mentally, and if I prepare spiritually I have controlled all I can control. That is all I can ever do....control what I can and give the rest to God.
I have reworked my plan some. I am giving it my all over the next four weeks. It is what I can control. There are no ifs in that!